








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 645 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3348 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,116 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 277 | 13% |
| Smokes | 484 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 874 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 481 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $547,593 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 498 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kota | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Roger Cody | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | greg | 54% | 54 |
| #4 | shut up miger | 51% | 96 |
| #5 | HOT DOG WATER | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kota | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Roger Cody | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | greg | 54% | 54 |
| #4 | shut up miger | 51% | 96 |
| #5 | HOT DOG WATER | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | greg | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | kota | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | shut up miger | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | HOT DOG WATER | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Roger Cody | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shut up miger | 53 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #2 | kota | 42 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | greg | 31 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | HOT DOG WATER | 26 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Roger Cody | 16 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roger Cody | +3.67 | 55 | 34 |
| #2 | shnuts | +3.45 | 65 | 26 |
| #3 | greg | +3.29 | 79 | 34 |
| #4 | HOT DOG WATER | +0.91 | 45 | 40 |
| #5 | shut up miger | -1.73 | 26 | 28 |





