










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 493 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3810 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,518 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1690 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3983 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1710 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3135 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,499,994 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 252 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | macaroni salad | 58% | 57 |
| #2 | Little Immigrant | 54% | 70 |
| #3 | OutRite | 50% | 101 |
| #4 | surferkev | 50% | 121 |
| #5 | Magic | 48% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | greg | 16 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Benito | 14 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | shut up miger | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | UBeTrippen | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | macaroni salad | 5 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | surferkev | 173 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | greg | 131 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Magic | 126 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | shut up miger | 125 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Benito | 124 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Little Immigrant | +5.33 | 75 | 42 |
| #2 | greg | +4.60 | 84 | 40 |
| #3 | macaroni salad | +3.69 | 47 | 17 |
| #4 | Magic | +2.54 | 53 | 55 |
| #5 | UBeTrippen | +1.45 | 56 | 37 |





