








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 423 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 378 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4263 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,888 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1003 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1823 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2297 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2765 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,333,940 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom_a_Hawk | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | MAXINES EIER ZITTERN!!!! | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | BNZ | 55% | 153 |
| #4 | 'tktz_ | 51% | 73 |
| #5 | $crim | 49% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | mercuryclixx | 47% | 51 |
| #7 | HungryM4x | 44% | 85 |
| #8 | M$@! | 43% | 79 |
| #9 | SekiRo | 33% | 40 |
| #10 | S´Ketamin | 33% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'tktz_ | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | BNZ | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | HungryM4x | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | MAXINES EIER ZITTERN!!!! | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | M$@! | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mercuryclixx | 117 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | BNZ | 104 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #3 | M$@! | 101 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | $crim | 90 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | SekiRo | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M$@! | +3.18 | 82 | 52 |
| #2 | MAXINES EIER ZITTERN!!!! | +3.01 | 75 | 24 |
| #3 | BNZ | +2.40 | 71 | 64 |
| #4 | $crim | +1.76 | 85 | 59 |
| #5 | mercuryclixx | +0.46 | 73 | 52 |





