








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
840 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,486 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 873 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1226 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1021 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 366 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $310,736 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L1kes | 100% | 8 |
| #2 | teck-on1 | stoff | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | glesay | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L1kes | 100% | 8 |
| #2 | teck-on1 | stoff | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | glesay | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teck-on1 | stoff | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | glesay | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L1kes | 34 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| #2 | teck-on1 | stoff | 29 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | glesay | 22 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glesay | +0.23 | 30 | 43 |
| #2 | Laiks | +0.21 | 50 | 56 |
| #3 | teck-on1 | stoff | -0.18 | 25 | 55 |
| #4 | L1kes | -1.74 | 34 | 42 |





