








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 111 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,401 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3248 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1093 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 2767 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2293 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,001,215 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 최고령도자김정은 | 70% | 30 |
| #2 | fart | 65% | 46 |
| #3 | Jrolles | 49% | 155 |
| #4 | daddy black sack | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | axel | 48% | 67 |





