








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1421 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




102 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3974 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,156 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2884 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2822 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1801 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1649 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,106,867 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 290 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hayden | 69% | 102 |
| #2 | Aligatrox | 65% | 74 |
| #3 | Y ❥ | 59% | 216 |
| #4 | EvaZioNe | 54% | 179 |
| #5 | Broxton | 47% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hayden | 69% | 102 |
| #2 | Aligatrox | 65% | 74 |
| #3 | Y ❥ | 59% | 216 |
| #4 | EvaZioNe | 54% | 179 |
| #5 | Broxton | 47% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Y ❥ | 16 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | EvaZioNe | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Aligatrox | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Hayden | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Broxton | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Y ❥ | 1122 | 0.26 | 28 min |
| #2 | Aligatrox | 242 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Hayden | 121 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | EvaZioNe | 45 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #5 | Broxton | 17 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Y ❥ | +2.58 | 28 | 71 |
| #2 | Hayden | +1.16 | 54 | 40 |
| #3 | EvaZioNe | +0.71 | 46 | 28 |
| #4 | Aligatrox | +0.59 | 35 | 65 |
| #5 | Mitty | +0.44 | 45 | 42 |





