








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1470 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 789 matches | ||
| Wingman | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 70 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 122 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6370 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,322 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9190 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5545 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 9015 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 6572 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,084,074 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAPPINARICEE | 60% | 83 |
| #2 | ♿r01na♿ | 55% | 141 |
| #3 | BilderbergNwo | 52% | 98 |
| #4 | TalonmiesAnnie | 49% | 171 |
| #5 | Stimu | 47% | 399 |





