








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 830 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 368 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5702 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6732 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5293 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4418 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3030 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,361,802 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 512 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | littlejohn | 55% | 74 |
| #2 | ✪ Luke1 | 54% | 71 |
| #3 | jero | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | xBatataFrita | 47% | 133 |
| #5 | ShaDow | 31% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Luke1 | 297 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | xBatataFrita | 284 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | littlejohn | 228 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | MV | 97 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | jero | 78 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | littlejohn | +2.19 | 92 | 59 |
| #2 | xBatataFrita | +1.84 | 88 | 52 |
| #3 | ✪ Luke1 | +0.76 | 78 | 62 |
| #4 | ESPANCO RUIM COM 50FPS | +0.65 | 74 | 70 |
| #5 | jero | +0.09 | 53 | 80 |





