








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2485 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,621 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3321 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2882 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3386 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3032 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $331,129 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | littlejohn | 75% | 36 |
| #2 | ✪ Luke1 | 74% | 19 |
| #3 | Alcazem | 71% | 17 |
| #4 | xBatataFrita | 64% | 84 |
| #5 | MC SHREK | 61% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xBatataFrita | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | ESPANCO RUIM COM 50FPS | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | MC SHREK | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Alcazem | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | ShaDow | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xBatataFrita | 176 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | ESPANCO RUIM COM 50FPS | 125 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | ✪ Luke1 | 90 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | littlejohn | 69 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | MV | 65 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xBatataFrita | +4.82 | 83 | 51 |
| #2 | littlejohn | +3.42 | 93 | 62 |
| #3 | ✪ Luke1 | +1.58 | 78 | 68 |
| #4 | ESPANCO RUIM COM 50FPS | +0.96 | 78 | 68 |
| #5 | jero | +0.87 | 56 | 80 |





