








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1322 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Wingman | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3519 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,740 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 814 | 22% |
| Smokes | 354 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 1253 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1319 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,640,674 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2820 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | mike | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | ☬Mini Rain☬ | 57% | 202 |
| #5 | .pablo | 54% | 106 |
| #6 | Rimidie | 54% | 95 |
| #7 | Emlow | 49% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☬Mini Rain☬ | 20 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Rimidie | 18 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | Emlow | 10 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | .pablo | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | mike | 2 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .pablo | 454 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | ☬Mini Rain☬ | 313 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | Emlow | 285 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Rimidie | 148 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | SwipZy | 140 | 0.17 | 3 min |





