








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 265 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5546 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,883 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3106 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2775 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2260 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3742 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $768,504 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gmv3sp | 68% | 50 |
| #2 | BeltFedCones | 64% | 39 |
| #3 | Crimson Emzz~ | 62% | 95 |
| #4 | yung bruh :3 | 60% | 70 |
| #5 | rompz | 55% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Crimson Emzz~ | 62% | 95 |
| #4 | yung bruh :3 | 60% | 70 |
| #5 | rompz | 55% | 60 |
| #6 | THE DON | 55% | 632 |
| #7 | Paul | 54% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THE DON | 39 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Paul | 14 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Crimson Emzz~ | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | yung bruh :3 | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | gmv3sp | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THE DON | 2025 | 0.16 | 43 min |
| #2 | Paul | 287 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Crimson Emzz~ | 129 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | yung bruh :3 | 112 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | gmv3sp | 70 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crimson Emzz~ | +4.62 | 76 | 47 |
| #2 | big noodle99 | +2.77 | 60 | 47 |
| #3 | gmv3sp | +2.45 | 72 | 46 |
| #4 | Paul | +1.20 | 71 | 52 |
| #5 | yung bruh :3 | +0.05 | 54 | 31 |





