








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 271 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,285 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7744 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4551 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3468 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 5522 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,003,912 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gmv3sp | 68% | 50 |
| #2 | BeltFedCones | 65% | 48 |
| #3 | Crimson Emzz~ | 61% | 110 |
| #4 | rompz | 58% | 99 |
| #5 | big noodle99 | 55% | 632 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Crimson Emzz~ | 61% | 110 |
| #4 | rompz | 58% | 99 |
| #5 | big noodle99 | 55% | 632 |
| #6 | Paul | 53% | 118 |
| #7 | yung bruh :3 | 47% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big noodle99 | 48 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | yung bruh :3 | 17 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Paul | 11 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Crimson Emzz~ | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | gmv3sp | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big noodle99 | 942 | 0.08 | 23 min |
| #2 | Paul | 276 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | yung bruh :3 | 185 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Crimson Emzz~ | 161 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | gmv3sp | 78 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crimson Emzz~ | +4.46 | 76 | 48 |
| #2 | big noodle99 | +2.71 | 60 | 46 |
| #3 | gmv3sp | +2.04 | 73 | 47 |
| #4 | Paul | +1.18 | 72 | 53 |
| #5 | rompz | +0.04 | 78 | 48 |





