








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1490 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 915 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 509 | 56% |
| Smokes | 191 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 165 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 50 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $474,512 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 826 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | billionaire musty | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | I Meow for treats | 40% | 43 |
| #6 | Dirt Nasty | 32% | 22 |
| #7 | yurinary incontinence | 28% | 18 |
| #8 | 9 | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yurinary incontinence | 33 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | billionaire musty | 25 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #3 | 9 | 14 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | I Meow for treats | 9 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | buggys big day | 6 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I Meow for treats | +2.22 | 71 | 29 |
| #2 | buggys big day | +1.39 | 19 | 42 |
| #3 | yurinary incontinence | +0.46 | 54 | 47 |
| #4 | chrome heart nipple ring | +0.16 | 54 | 18 |
| #5 | billionaire musty | +0.02 | 24 | 18 |





