








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 748 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 702 matches | ||
| Wingman | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7555 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,561 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1814 | 9% |
| Smokes | 5471 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 7601 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 4675 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,636,475 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 502 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lilou | 22 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | BLATTAS CHUPACABRAS | 22 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Molon | 14 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Helgastt | 13 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | ÎȚƆĦ | 12 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lilou | 1047 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #2 | Molon | 354 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | La Hyène | 263 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Grass | 251 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | Helgastt | 201 | 0.07 | 4 min |





