








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
632 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,648 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 284 | 17% |
| Smokes | 328 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 593 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 443 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $433,636 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 390 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaktus | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | VenoX | 61% | 59 |
| #3 | Albi | 61% | 66 |
| #4 | XDbua | 58% | 53 |
| #5 | bylord | 57% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaktus | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | VenoX | 61% | 59 |
| #3 | Albi | 61% | 66 |
| #4 | XDbua | 58% | 53 |
| #5 | bylord | 57% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albi | 13 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | VenoX | 8 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | XDbua | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | bylord | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | kaktus | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XDbua | 138 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Albi | 81 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | bylord | 74 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | VenoX | 50 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | kaktus | 38 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VenoX | +5.24 | 83 | 46 |
| #2 | Albi | +2.25 | 63 | 46 |
| #3 | kaktus | +1.90 | 71 | 66 |
| #4 | haxel | +0.05 | 71 | 35 |
| #5 | XDbua | -0.19 | 54 | 57 |





