








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1542 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 515 matches | ||
| Premier | 254 matches | ||
| Faceit | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




266 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9872 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,980 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2330 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3042 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4898 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4710 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $952,190 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haxel | 61% | 59 |
| #2 | XDbua | 59% | 88 |
| #3 | Albi | 57% | 202 |
| #4 | bylord | 46% | 411 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haxel | 61% | 59 |
| #2 | XDbua | 59% | 88 |
| #3 | Albi | 57% | 202 |
| #4 | bylord | 46% | 411 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bylord | 70 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Albi | 38 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | XDbua | 22 | 0.0125 |
| #4 | haxel | 12 | 0.0101 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bylord | 741 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #2 | Albi | 315 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | XDbua | 224 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | haxel | 60 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VenoX | +5.17 | 84 | 39 |
| #2 | Albi | +2.28 | 58 | 45 |
| #3 | XDbua | -0.10 | 52 | 50 |
| #4 | haxel | -0.63 | 72 | 35 |
| #5 | bylord | -6.48 | 28 | 53 |





