








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
518 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 395 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 236 | 60% |
| Smokes | 54 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 31 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 74 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $45,572 of utility $40 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hunts | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Zeus X27 | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | Law' | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | Prostration | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | Tu auras que dalle | 71% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Law' | 16 | 0.0371 |
| #2 | Tu auras que dalle | 7 | 0.0522 |
| #3 | Law' | 5 | 0.0313 |
| #4 | hunts | 4 | 0.0364 |
| #5 | The dead | 3 | 0.0160 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hunts | 19 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #2 | The dead | 17 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #3 | Zeus X27 | 16 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #4 | Law' | 14 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | checkpoint cir0x | 13 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Law' | +2.16 | 68 | 43 |
| #2 | The dead | +1.84 | 92 | 40 |
| #3 | Law' | +1.80 | 50 | 25 |
| #4 | Prostration | +1.41 | 88 | 66 |
| #5 | Tu auras que dalle | +1.38 | 96 | 0 |





