








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 484 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 85 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1776 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,152 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1213 | 38% |
| Smokes | 307 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 981 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 651 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $427,998 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 221 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The dead | 74% | 27 |
| #2 | Subaru | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | ヒーロー | 42% | 26 |
| #4 | roi | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The dead | 74% | 27 |
| #2 | Subaru | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | ヒーロー | 42% | 26 |
| #4 | roi | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The dead | 9 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | ヒーロー | 9 | 0.0180 |
| #3 | Subaru | 7 | 0.0352 |
| #4 | roi | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roi | 115 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #2 | The dead | 82 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Subaru | 3 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | ヒーロー | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roi | +4.06 | 72 | 72 |
| #2 | ヒーロー | +2.49 | 78 | 6 |
| #3 | Subaru | +1.42 | 63 | 16 |
| #4 | The dead | +0.24 | 73 | 50 |
| #5 | checkpoint cir0x | -0.22 | 59 | 47 |





