








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1077 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1055 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




216 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10074 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,367 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6085 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6495 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7199 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4588 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,227,393 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1293 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OnlyMatchwoods | 52% | 85 |
| #2 | D!ck Tr!ckle | 43% | 100 |
| #3 | FkN | rollin' | 43% | 89 |
| #4 | KennyPowers | 25% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OnlyMatchwoods | 52% | 85 |
| #2 | D!ck Tr!ckle | 43% | 100 |
| #3 | FkN | rollin' | 43% | 89 |
| #4 | KennyPowers | 25% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D!ck Tr!ckle | 11 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | KennyPowers | 8 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | FkN | rollin' | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | OnlyMatchwoods | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KennyPowers | 95 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | OnlyMatchwoods | 87 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | FkN | rollin' | 73 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | D!ck Tr!ckle | 38 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D!ck Tr!ckle | +2.09 | 49 | 25 |
| #2 | FkN | rollin' | +1.40 | 60 | 42 |
| #3 | OnlyMatchwoods | +0.57 | 24 | 40 |
| #4 | Ron Jeremy | -1.49 | 46 | 46 |
| #5 | KennyPowers | -4.11 | 18 | 24 |





