








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
464 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,260 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 573 | 45% |
| Smokes | 326 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 175 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 186 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $187,731 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^2whisk3y | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | d0vu | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Gidra | 53% | 53 |
| #4 | P3J1CH | 52% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^2whisk3y | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | d0vu | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Gidra | 53% | 53 |
| #4 | P3J1CH | 52% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gidra | 20 | 0.0198 |
| #2 | P3J1CH | 10 | 0.0119 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gidra | 129 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | P3J1CH | 127 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | ^2whisk3y | 18 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| #4 | d0vu | 7 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^2whisk3y | +2.57 | 79 | 49 |
| #2 | Gidra | +2.11 | 85 | 57 |
| #3 | P3J1CH | +0.87 | 83 | 40 |
| #4 | Gentelman catfish | -2.20 | 61 | 46 |
| #5 | d0vu | -2.56 | 49 | 33 |





