








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,678 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1571 | 43% |
| Smokes | 510 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 702 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 895 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $710,805 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ykris | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | ^2whisk3y | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | Gidra | 56% | 146 |
| #4 | Gentelman catfish | 52% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ykris | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | ^2whisk3y | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | Gidra | 56% | 146 |
| #4 | Gentelman catfish | 52% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gidra | 43 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | Gentelman catfish | 7 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | ykris | 2 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gidra | 329 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | Gentelman catfish | 114 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | ^2whisk3y | 63 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | ykris | 33 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^2whisk3y | +3.41 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | Gidra | +2.57 | 85 | 60 |
| #3 | ykris | +1.35 | 92 | 55 |
| #4 | P3J1CH | +0.23 | 80 | 43 |
| #5 | Gentelman catfish | -1.92 | 62 | 46 |





