








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 884 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,548 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1719 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2027 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1893 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1909 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,095,591 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | rat | 75% | 16 |
| #8 | hdz | 74% | 27 |
| #9 | Phanatic | 68% | 25 |
| #10 | GIZMO | 68% | 28 |
| #11 | Kae | 60% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hdz | 5 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | danny1taps | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Phanatic | 3 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | GIZMO | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Kae | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | danny1taps | 244 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Kae | 99 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Cantguardclips | 73 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | GIZMO | 69 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | kappa | 49 | 0.12 | 1 min |





