








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 345 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 47 | 14% |
| Smokes | 165 | 48% |
| HE Grenades | 76 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 57 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $111,666 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z3RP #1312 | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Magda B. Gatten | 50% | 44 |
| #3 | strotno99 | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z3RP #1312 | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Magda B. Gatten | 50% | 44 |
| #3 | strotno99 | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magda B. Gatten | 8 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | strotno99 | 6 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Z3RP #1312 | 3 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magda B. Gatten | 97 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | strotno99 | 59 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Z3RP #1312 | 25 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z3RP #1312 | +7.47 | 77 | 58 |
| #2 | Magda B. Gatten | +6.16 | 80 | 65 |
| #3 | strotno99 | +0.23 | 59 | 49 |
| #4 | annibunny | -4.94 | 27 | 8 |





