








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3130 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,170 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1357 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2340 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2054 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1419 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $620,251 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | annibunny | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | strotno99 | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | NAsH # | 59% | 81 |
| #4 | José Runtar | 57% | 110 |
| #5 | rizmo. | 56% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | NAsH # | 59% | 81 |
| #4 | José Runtar | 57% | 110 |
| #5 | rizmo. | 56% | 27 |
| #6 | $Ray | 40% | 15 |
| #7 | silly catto | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAsH # | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | José Runtar | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | $Ray | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | José Runtar | 238 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | NAsH # | 144 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | $Ray | 32 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | strotno99 | 22 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | rizmo. | 21 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z3RP #1312 | +3.58 | 75 | 56 |
| #2 | $Ray | +0.36 | 77 | 61 |
| #3 | José Runtar | -0.42 | 59 | 61 |
| #4 | rizmo. | -0.42 | 71 | 56 |
| #5 | NAsH # | -1.67 | 45 | 59 |





