








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 387 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
979 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 234 | 10% |
| Smokes | 362 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 602 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1139 | 49% |
Our logs show you have wasted $957,817 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tolliekop | 47% | 57 |
| #2 | kanye east | 47% | 55 |
| #3 | Bilbo Baggins | 39% | 133 |
| #4 | BoerMielie | 34% | 125 |
| #5 | speedymentz | 33% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | kanye east | 47% | 55 |
| #3 | Bilbo Baggins | 39% | 133 |
| #4 | BoerMielie | 34% | 125 |
| #5 | speedymentz | 33% | 43 |
| #6 | DWolfs | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kanye east | 36 | 0.0322 |
| #2 | Tolliekop | 30 | 0.0265 |
| #3 | BoerMielie | 19 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | DWolfs | 6 | 0.0189 |
| #5 | Bilbo Baggins | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bilbo Baggins | 245 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | kanye east | 228 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | BoerMielie | 152 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Tolliekop | 122 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | DWolfs | 97 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DWolfs | +8.65 | 92 | 69 |
| #2 | kanye east | +6.72 | 85 | 58 |
| #3 | Tolliekop | +2.59 | 42 | 69 |
| #4 | FirefoxOG03 | -1.22 | 25 | 24 |
| #5 | BoerMielie | -2.52 | 16 | 36 |





