










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 350 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1036 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,574 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1149 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1645 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1680 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1100 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $514,471 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kanye east | 42% | 50 |
| #2 | FirefoxOG03 | 39% | 133 |
| #3 | Tolliekop | 37% | 38 |
| #4 | BoerMielie | 30% | 125 |
| #5 | DWolfs | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | FirefoxOG03 | 39% | 133 |
| #3 | Tolliekop | 37% | 38 |
| #4 | BoerMielie | 30% | 125 |
| #5 | DWolfs | 29% | 24 |
| #6 | speedymentz | 29% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kanye east | 26 | 0.0254 |
| #2 | BoerMielie | 17 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Tolliekop | 17 | 0.0219 |
| #4 | FirefoxOG03 | 12 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | DWolfs | 8 | 0.0174 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kanye east | 215 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | BoerMielie | 128 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | DWolfs | 125 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #4 | Tolliekop | 74 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | FirefoxOG03 | 64 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DWolfs | +9.71 | 90 | 56 |
| #2 | kanye east | +6.70 | 83 | 60 |
| #3 | Tolliekop | +2.36 | 42 | 72 |
| #4 | FirefoxOG03 | -0.47 | 29 | 22 |
| #5 | BoerMielie | -2.96 | 17 | 37 |





