








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1797 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,762 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1919 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2018 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1312 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1513 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $172,133 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flashbang | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Fahrmer | 57% | 70 |
| #3 | Kvothe | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | LyngsQ | 54% | 134 |
| #5 | Kalle | 43% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kvothe | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | LyngsQ | 54% | 134 |
| #5 | Kalle | 43% | 61 |
| #6 | Baratic | 40% | 40 |
| #7 | Bisgaard | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LyngsQ | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Baratic | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Kalle | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Fahrmer | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Bisgaard | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fahrmer | 244 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | LyngsQ | 165 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Kalle | 88 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kvothe | 51 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Baratic | 37 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fahrmer | +2.19 | 57 | 73 |
| #2 | Doing Stuff | +1.78 | 74 | 67 |
| #3 | Bisgaard | +1.56 | 85 | 56 |
| #4 | flashbang | +0.81 | 70 | 17 |
| #5 | LyngsQ | -0.26 | 29 | 58 |





