








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 252 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2971 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3616 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3043 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2899 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1985 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $716,982 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doing Stuff | 57% | 70 |
| #2 | Baratic | 56% | 41 |
| #3 | LyngsQ | 46% | 103 |
| #4 | Kalle | 42% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doing Stuff | 57% | 70 |
| #2 | Baratic | 56% | 41 |
| #3 | LyngsQ | 46% | 103 |
| #4 | Kalle | 42% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baratic | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | LyngsQ | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Kalle | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Doing Stuff | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LyngsQ | 158 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | Doing Stuff | 156 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Kalle | 76 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Baratic | 40 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fahrmer | +1.32 | 57 | 71 |
| #2 | Doing Stuff | +0.73 | 71 | 64 |
| #3 | Baratic | -0.66 | 49 | 56 |
| #4 | LyngsQ | -1.51 | 23 | 58 |
| #5 | Kalle | -3.65 | 27 | 54 |





