








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1869 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,149 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1013 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1119 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 495 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 522 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $447,936 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plankton | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | Stalker | 44% | 108 |
| #3 | gaz | 42% | 96 |
| #4 | mjau ⛟ | 40% | 60 |
| #5 | LilP | 37% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Stalker | 44% | 108 |
| #3 | gaz | 42% | 96 |
| #4 | mjau ⛟ | 40% | 60 |
| #5 | LilP | 37% | 57 |
| #6 | Lars⛟ | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaz | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaz | 196 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Stalker | 128 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | mjau ⛟ | 127 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | LilP | 55 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lars⛟ | 23 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rice ⛟☯ | +5.85 | 84 | 58 |
| #2 | mjau ⛟ | -0.82 | 76 | 64 |
| #3 | Plankton | -1.03 | 62 | 14 |
| #4 | LilP | -2.54 | 49 | 43 |
| #5 | gaz | -2.98 | 37 | 51 |





