








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2464 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,884 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3832 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3198 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1928 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1926 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $678,613 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 641 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | rice ⛟☯ | 42% | 96 |
| #5 | LilP | 40% | 191 |
| #6 | mjau ⛟ | 37% | 150 |
| #7 | Lars⛟ | 35% | 55 |
| #8 | Plankton | 29% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mjau ⛟ | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | LilP | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | rice ⛟☯ | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Stalker | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | ris | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mjau ⛟ | 316 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Stalker | 179 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | ris | 166 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | LilP | 158 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | rice ⛟☯ | 136 | 0.07 | 3 min |





