








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 392 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
935 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,759 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 629 | 23% |
| Smokes | 630 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1003 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 497 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $532,902 of utility $264 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 285 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shaakzz | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | Schulz | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | hendrik_ok | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | Lauenborg06 | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Luiz | 52% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Lauenborg06 | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Luiz | 52% | 46 |
| #6 | Schulz | 50% | 12 |
| #7 | Danske | 42% | 45 |
| #8 | Silverboiiii | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luiz | 6 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Danske | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Schulz | 4 | 0.0161 |
| #4 | Schulz | 4 | 0.0181 |
| #5 | hendrik_ok | 3 | 0.0136 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luiz | 167 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | Danske | 71 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Lauenborg06 | 52 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Schulz | 28 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Silverboiiii | 23 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shaakzz | +4.43 | 64 | 68 |
| #2 | Lauenborg06 | +3.54 | 43 | 46 |
| #3 | Silverboiiii | +3.38 | 63 | 66 |
| #4 | Schulz | +0.74 | 61 | 54 |
| #5 | ⛟ bunger | +0.42 | 54 | 48 |





