








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 975 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 528 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6327 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,935 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8904 | 32% |
| Smokes | 8073 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5289 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5669 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,164,133 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =S|N= Multi | 58% | 55 |
| #2 | beeva | 53% | 178 |
| #3 | rAcHi ™ | 53% | 70 |
| #4 | Jordan | 52% | 62 |
| #5 | John Worry | 51% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | John Worry | 51% | 70 |
| #6 | P I T S | 50% | 40 |
| #7 | B1G POEvid the Great | 48% | 138 |
| #8 | Adriftpenguin01 | 47% | 66 |
| #9 | MuffinMan ^0^ | 47% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beeva | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | B1G POEvid the Great | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | MuffinMan ^0^ | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | P I T S | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | rAcHi ™ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beeva | 663 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #2 | Adriftpenguin01 | 269 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | B1G POEvid the Great | 219 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | MuffinMan ^0^ | 193 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | John Worry | 182 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =S|N= Multi | +0.72 | 54 | 61 |
| #2 | John Worry | +0.65 | 39 | 74 |
| #3 | B1G POEvid the Great | +0.47 | 59 | 59 |
| #4 | MuffinMan ^0^ | +0.39 | 63 | 58 |
| #5 | Adriftpenguin01 | +0.36 | 55 | 58 |





