








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,084 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2159 | 42% |
| Smokes | 2044 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 468 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 413 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $271,454 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ELHUNTO | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | =S|N= Multi | 71% | 28 |
| #3 | beeva | 55% | 74 |
| #4 | B1G POEvid the Great | 55% | 47 |
| #5 | John Worry | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | John Worry | 51% | 39 |
| #6 | trickz | 50% | 16 |
| #7 | Jordan | 50% | 18 |
| #8 | SESH | 47% | 62 |
| #9 | rAcHi ™ | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B1G POEvid the Great | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | =S|N= Multi | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | trickz | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | ELHUNTO | 1 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SESH | 206 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | beeva | 191 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | John Worry | 84 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | rAcHi ™ | 72 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | trickz | 58 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trickz | +2.33 | 72 | 66 |
| #2 | =S|N= Multi | +1.50 | 56 | 56 |
| #3 | B1G POEvid the Great | +1.09 | 60 | 58 |
| #4 | John Worry | +1.06 | 41 | 74 |
| #5 | SESH | +0.45 | 71 | 63 |





