








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 800 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 322 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 111 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8572 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,145 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2144 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5449 | 49% |
| HE Grenades | 1720 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1832 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,679,077 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 456 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Pluto✩ | 49% | 83 |
| #6 | Neight.Phx | 47% | 130 |
| #7 | gagne dosti de chien | 46% | 200 |
| #8 | KiinsWA | 44% | 135 |
| #9 | bLAZe | 43% | 91 |





