








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 852 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 232 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,072 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5335 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5993 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4245 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4499 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,218,802 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 550 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | KiinsWA | 48% | 66 |
| #8 | Caramel. | 45% | 33 |
| #9 | Pluto✩ | 44% | 36 |
| #10 | -Clown- | 39% | 33 |
| #11 | gagne dosti de chien | 35% | 100 |





