








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1825 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 362 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5515 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,703 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1027 | 12% |
| Smokes | 3327 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 3104 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1245 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,481,945 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4309 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | taiga | 67% | 49 |
| #2 | ✩Ascend✩ | 67% | 39 |
| #3 | Veteran | 59% | 93 |
| #4 | st0rmsyy ♡ | 58% | 122 |
| #5 | snickerdoc | 56% | 155 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | st0rmsyy ♡ | 77 | 0.0319 |
| #2 | snickerdoc | 35 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | ✩Ascend✩ | 16 | 0.0210 |
| #4 | egg ✮⋆˙ | 15 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | taiga | 15 | 0.0156 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XanderBar | +4.91 | 81 | 40 |
| #2 | st0rmsyy ♡ | +3.83 | 61 | 54 |
| #3 | ✩Ascend✩ | +3.79 | 95 | 65 |
| #4 | Rolling a joint rn sorry | +2.86 | 76 | 37 |
| #5 | taiga | +1.79 | 66 | 52 |





