








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 967 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 393 | 41% |
| Smokes | 120 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 203 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 251 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $167,916 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BonkyDonkyDick | 52% | 46 |
| #2 | Fool Chainz | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | FNB Hellcase.com | 43% | 14 |
| #4 | Det er bo | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | Bent | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BonkyDonkyDick | 52% | 46 |
| #2 | Fool Chainz | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | FNB Hellcase.com | 43% | 14 |
| #4 | Det er bo | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | Bent | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BonkyDonkyDick | 6 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | FNB Hellcase.com | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BonkyDonkyDick | 120 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Det er bo | 20 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | FNB Hellcase.com | 15 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Fool Chainz | 9 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | Bent | 6 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BonkyDonkyDick | +4.85 | 86 | 59 |
| #2 | Fool Chainz | +0.90 | 63 | 66 |
| #3 | Det er bo | +0.84 | 70 | 62 |
| #4 | FNB Hellcase.com | -1.07 | 61 | 30 |
| #5 | Setback | -2.52 | 54 | 53 |





