










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1449 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,447 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1222 | 50% |
| Smokes | 227 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 882 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 116 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $690,195 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 670 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | hvitløken | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | bractea | 43% | 251 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | hvitløken | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | bractea | 43% | 251 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bractea | 16 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | hvitløken | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | 40 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | hvitløken | 8 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #3 | bractea | 7 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | +6.00 | 73 | 67 |
| #2 | Meow420 | -0.16 | 25 | 27 |
| #3 | bractea | -0.50 | 20 | 11 |
| #4 | hvitløken | -1.01 | 15 | 11 |





