








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1528 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 786 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1507 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1487 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1267 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $436,749 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 163 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | МузA(!) | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | DemenzKickt | 43% | 58 |
| #3 | -diCht- | 38% | 24 |
| #4 | Prof. Dr. Gernhardt Reinholzen | 37% | 147 |
| #5 | MidNightLady | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | МузA(!) | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | DemenzKickt | 43% | 58 |
| #3 | -diCht- | 38% | 24 |
| #4 | Prof. Dr. Gernhardt Reinholzen | 37% | 147 |
| #5 | MidNightLady | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prof. Dr. Gernhardt Reinholzen | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | DemenzKickt | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | MidNightLady | 2 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | -diCht- | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prof. Dr. Gernhardt Reinholzen | 138 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | DemenzKickt | 69 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | MidNightLady | 19 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | МузA(!) | 17 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | -diCht- | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | МузA(!) | +1.71 | 23 | 41 |
| #2 | DemenzKickt | +0.83 | 48 | 64 |
| #3 | Bischof Stecher | +0.62 | 39 | 47 |
| #4 | MidNightLady | -1.45 | 25 | 59 |
| #5 | Prof. Dr. Gernhardt Reinholzen | -2.80 | 11 | 47 |





