








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 484 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2512 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,453 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1730 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2559 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2131 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2033 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,989,341 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 732 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





