








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1604 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,133 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 237 | 11% |
| Smokes | 888 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 511 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 497 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $630,336 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 438 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johan Liebert | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | hmm.. sorry.. | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | D3lay. | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | swim | 41% | 34 |
| #5 | ._. | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | hmm.. sorry.. | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | D3lay. | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | swim | 41% | 34 |
| #5 | ._. | 41% | 32 |
| #6 | Amuel Amador | 29% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ._. | 18 | 0.0321 |
| #2 | hmm.. sorry.. | 4 | 0.0240 |
| #3 | Amuel Amador | 3 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | swim | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Johan Liebert | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swim | 65 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | Amuel Amador | 46 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | ._. | 31 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Johan Liebert | 22 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | D3lay. | 22 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swim | +5.41 | 95 | 42 |
| #2 | hmm.. sorry.. | +5.21 | 95 | 42 |
| #3 | ._. | +2.46 | 94 | 24 |
| #4 | D3lay. | +1.11 | 63 | 49 |
| #5 | Johan Liebert | +0.83 | 59 | 55 |





