








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 646 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1404 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,023 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1391 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1376 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1839 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1417 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $656,597 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pew pew | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | Opa (животное) | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | Criple | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | hhhhh | 44% | 99 |
| #5 | Temo | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pew pew | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | Opa (животное) | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | Criple | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | hhhhh | 44% | 99 |
| #5 | Temo | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hhhhh | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Temo | 1 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hhhhh | 314 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | pew pew | 39 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | Criple | 38 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Opa (животное) | 6 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Temo | 2 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pew pew | +2.84 | 74 | 64 |
| #2 | hhhhh | +0.89 | 56 | 70 |
| #3 | Opa (животное) | +0.54 | 56 | 64 |
| #4 | Vargo Vakarienė | -0.40 | 51 | 63 |
| #5 | Criple | -1.19 | 65 | 65 |





