








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1531 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,321 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 422 | 32% |
| Smokes | 317 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 315 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 267 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $169,655 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 09apeface | 50% | 10 |
| #2 | energade | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | {F.N.O}Cactus | 43% | 23 |
| #4 | murderer | 38% | 34 |
| #5 | RustyRaider | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | murderer | 38% | 34 |
| #5 | RustyRaider | 38% | 32 |
| #6 | beni | 36% | 11 |
| #7 | Matrix | 31% | 16 |
| #8 | DragonWolfsyrs | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | murderer | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | {F.N.O}Cactus | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Matrix | 2 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | RustyRaider | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | DragonWolfsyrs | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DragonWolfsyrs | 83 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | RustyRaider | 75 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | beni | 45 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | energade | 38 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | 09apeface | 32 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 09apeface | +1.46 | 63 | 39 |
| #2 | RustyRaider | +1.13 | 12 | 45 |
| #3 | energade | +0.78 | 42 | 51 |
| #4 | <𝔻𝕄𝕋>⭕⃤ | +0.27 | 45 | 25 |
| #5 | beni | -2.67 | 2 | 67 |





