








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 491 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 769 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4144 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5613 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5569 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 8648 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 7566 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,672,344 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2242 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | murderer | 23% | 52 |
| #2 | ɱxɳʝx | 15% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | murderer | 23% | 52 |
| #2 | ɱxɳʝx | 15% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | murderer | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | ɱxɳʝx | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ɱxɳʝx | 175 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | murderer | 20 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | {F.N.O}Cactus | -3.95 | 9 | 58 |
| #2 | murderer | -5.23 | 1 | 24 |
| #3 | ɱxɳʝx | -9.65 | 0 | 30 |





