








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Wingman | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




101 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3820 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,626 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1623 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1013 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1279 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1711 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,395,243 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fentanyl Joey | 54% | 98 |
| #2 | Azri | 54% | 548 |
| #3 | the_antichrist | 53% | 57 |
| #4 | Wolk | 44% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fentanyl Joey | 54% | 98 |
| #2 | Azri | 54% | 548 |
| #3 | the_antichrist | 53% | 57 |
| #4 | Wolk | 44% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fentanyl Joey | 14 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Wolk | 12 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Azri | 10 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | the_antichrist | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azri | 955 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #2 | Fentanyl Joey | 90 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | the_antichrist | 46 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Wolk | 39 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azri | +4.33 | 52 | 58 |
| #2 | the_antichrist | +1.23 | 66 | 52 |
| #3 | Cara Pils | -0.17 | 39 | 30 |
| #4 | Wolk | -1.86 | 18 | 28 |
| #5 | Fentanyl Joey | -3.24 | 32 | 22 |





