








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 149 matches | ||
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2506 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,997 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1212 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1860 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1272 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1653 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,591,640 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Na's Last hope | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | R3d | 57% | 105 |
| #3 | beverage | 56% | 82 |
| #4 | Elumbate | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | ParagonCrit | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R3d | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Na's Last hope | 3 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | beverage | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | SemataryGraveMan | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Elumbate | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R3d | 171 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | beverage | 128 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Elumbate | 120 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | sicKsense_ #1donkglazer_int | 112 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | ParagonCrit | 63 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vettra | +1.03 | 72 | 38 |
| #2 | sicKsense_ #1donkglazer_int | +0.60 | 46 | 70 |
| #3 | R3d | +0.43 | 63 | 40 |
| #4 | Elumbate | +0.34 | 48 | 72 |
| #5 | ParagonCrit | +0.34 | 36 | 68 |





