








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1391 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 856 matches | ||
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 119 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8680 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,173 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6097 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6899 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6111 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4066 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,667,639 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 918 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H1ngeklunker | 57% | 169 |
| #2 | Bingo4k | 56% | 190 |
| #3 | 𝓤𝓟𝓡 ✷ DrankerSmQlf | 53% | 215 |
| #4 | ★MoU★ | 51% | 373 |
| #5 | Sabss ︻デ 一 | 50% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★MoU★ | 811 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #2 | Ulle | 548 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #3 | Bingo4k | 364 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | H1ngeklunker | 216 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Sabss ︻デ 一 | 210 | 0.07 | 5 min |





