








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 619 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 310 matches | ||
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4106 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3875 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4641 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5400 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4422 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,311,123 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 399 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don Ø | 79% | 24 |
| #2 | H1ngeklunker | 67% | 116 |
| #3 | roejhat jr. | 67% | 24 |
| #4 | MiniMeth 💩 | 64% | 25 |
| #5 | 𝓤𝓟𝓡 ✷ DrankerSmQlf | 61% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Zachytits | 56% | 96 |
| #9 | kR0maNd` | 56% | 190 |
| #10 | Sabss ︻デ 一 | 53% | 91 |
| #11 | Sm4Kage | 50% | 26 |
| #12 | ★MoU★ | 49% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kR0maNd` | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | H1ngeklunker | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Sabss ︻デ 一 | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | West- | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | 𝓤𝓟𝓡 ✷ DrankerSmQlf | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★MoU★ | 240 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | kR0maNd` | 226 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | H1ngeklunker | 171 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Sabss ︻デ 一 | 154 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Sm4Kage | 136 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H1ngeklunker | +3.28 | 61 | 64 |
| #2 | Sm4Kage | +3.04 | 52 | 67 |
| #3 | MiniMeth 💩 | +2.64 | 72 | 70 |
| #4 | kR0maNd` | +1.70 | 50 | 57 |
| #5 | Bingo4k | +0.93 | 64 | 68 |





