










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
411 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,254 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 529 | 23% |
| Smokes | 646 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 534 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 545 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $136,061 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donaldo José Trumpo | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | BlyZe | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | 5900KG gamer | 65% | 31 |
| #4 | KFC Guy | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | MathNat | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | BlyZe | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | 5900KG gamer | 65% | 31 |
| #4 | KFC Guy | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | MathNat | 50% | 10 |
| #6 | Flux | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KFC Guy | 9 | 0.0233 |
| #2 | Flux | 2 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | MathNat | 2 | 0.0099 |
| #4 | 5900KG gamer | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Donaldo José Trumpo | 1 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5900KG gamer | 115 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | BlyZe | 45 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | MathNat | 11 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Flux | 7 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Donaldo José Trumpo | 2 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | car | +2.89 | 66 | 68 |
| #2 | 5900KG gamer | +2.18 | 65 | 53 |
| #3 | Donaldo José Trumpo | -0.82 | 38 | 12 |
| #4 | BlyZe | -0.89 | 59 | 41 |
| #5 | KFC Guy | -0.94 | 29 | 14 |





