








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1268 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,165 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2044 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1204 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1638 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1279 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $636,012 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | car | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | ♿ | 57% | 44 |
| #3 | Sebii | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | KFC Guy | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | BlyZe | 55% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sebii | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | KFC Guy | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | BlyZe | 55% | 100 |
| #6 | Flux | 53% | 74 |
| #7 | Donaldo José Trumpo | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KFC Guy | 14 | 0.0233 |
| #2 | Flux | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | BlyZe | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Donaldo José Trumpo | 6 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | ♿ | 4 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlyZe | 390 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | ♿ | 211 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | car | 121 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | Flux | 62 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sebii | 19 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5900KG gamer | +2.10 | 64 | 62 |
| #2 | car | +2.07 | 68 | 70 |
| #3 | BlyZe | +1.54 | 66 | 54 |
| #4 | ♿ | +0.36 | 61 | 67 |
| #5 | KFC Guy | -1.75 | 26 | 20 |





